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Anonymous Student—

I believe there is beauty in imperfection. Some of the greatest lessons I have learned have come from mistakes. I tried for too many years to be perfect. I manipulated myself in so many ways, some dangerous, in order to fit a certain mold. I have fought eating disorders for seven years as a result of trying to be perfect. When I was 13 years old, I decided I needed to be perfect. I had to look a certain way to achieve perfection in other people’s eyes. Having good grades and volunteering was not enough if I was not skinny. Sounds ridiculous now, but that is what I believed to be true.

I stopped eating. I was eating around 500 calories a day for months and months. As a result, I lost over 20 pounds very quickly and ended up at a weight that put me in the 3rd percentile for my height and age. My body was covered in bruises. The bruises on my body were like a badge of honor, signifying my determination to deprive myself. I could feel heart palpitations. I was always cold. None of that mattered to me. I wore baggy clothes and big jackets to hide my secret. The gnawing pain of hunger became my best friend. I would stand for hours in front of a mirror critiquing myself. I loved it when my hipbones hit a table. The pain reminded me that they stuck out. I was happiest when I could count my ribs or feel my collarbone protrude. All this was from my twisted quest to be perfect. I know this sounds warped. It was. It pains me to know I thought this way. It was no way to live. The frightening part of it all is that although I was scarily skinny, I cannot recall even one time during those years that I thought I was skinny. I cannot tell you how I managed to start eating again. I think it was when I finally found friends who were sincere and kind. They were people who did not judge me. They taught me how to be myself and not worry about what everyone else thought.

High school was great and I found my place with great friends. But when I moved and came to college, I felt alone and the pressure of standing out among 25,000 students took its toll. I slipped into old habits and adopted new ones. Last year, around this time, I realized I was falling down a slippery slope and I could not fight this alone anymore. I came forward to my family. I decided that I needed to stop being so concerned about my image and take my health into consideration. After seven years, I was exhausted from fighting the same demons. I realized I needed help in order to abandon my mission to achieve perfection. I can say that I am now doing well and am healthier than I ever have been.

Only now do I realize how beautiful imperfections can be. I am imperfect because I am human. However, I do not want to be perfect; I just want to live each day with purpose and passion. I still struggle with being overly critical of myself. But I realize that although I am not perfect, I am beautiful and I have so much to offer. It has taken me so many years to say that and believe it. Find those who love you in spite of imperfection. Live healthy and learn from mistakes. Take the time to find out what you believe in and find out what you love. Realize that as humans, we have faults but we also have the capability to learn from our mistakes and grow. I truly feel that if we were all able to achieve perfection, life would be boring. Be able to love yourself, imperfections and all, because that is where true beauty is.

Christian Commander—

I believe in faith. Faith fuels passion, passion feeds determination and determination sets a chain of events in motion that change the world. When it comes down to it, this is the overarching idea that governs my life. I was put on this Earth with a mission, a mission that was revealed to me at a very young age. It might sound crazy; you might call it delusions of grandeur. But when I was a kid, I saw a path stretched out before me. I walk that path now, fully knowing where it will take me.

Out of the many passions and interests that keep my fire burning for knowledge, cultural diversification, and change, there is one aspect of life that governs who I am: servitude. I believe in servitude—to God and all of His creation. My purpose, my mission, is to serve humankind, animals, and the world in which they dwell. By doing this, I serve God. To me, these two beliefs of faith and servitude are interchangeable. When you truly submit to something, you give it your all; you live for it, it becomes the center of your life, and if you truly find something or someone that fills your life with hope, you place it above your own.

Though I consider myself a person of faith, devout in my Christian beliefs, I stand alone from many. I do not get hung up on the niceties of dogma. I follow my passions, my heart, and my faith. This is in no way a slight to my Christian brothers and sisters or any of my brothers and sisters of other faiths. I say this to show that my purpose on this Earth is not to argue doctrine, but rather to serve and love, in spite of any differences that may be existent.

When asked what I believe, it seems that I could fill volumes with the principles, beliefs, practices, and the myriad of other disciplines that govern my life. But when I really think about the answer to that question, it seems so simple. The common denominator is service through faith, not only in God, but also in the good of humanity. I see the world around me and fight the urge to curse humanity for what has happened over time. My faith keeps me from doing this and instead, shows me the good in the world, as exemplified by the people trying to make a difference as Bonner Leaders. My faith gives me hope for humanity. I believe that I can make a difference. Who says that one man cannot change the world? If you give me a one in a trillion chance to succeed in anything I have set out to do since I was a kid, I would still go for it. My faith tells me a different story from those numbers. It shows me that one in a trillion chance still leaves possibility; passion will drive me toward that goal. I believe in faith, and that I will make a difference in this world; I will neither rest nor will my faith let me falter until I have.

Vu Tran—

I believe that communication is a gift that nourishes my everyday life. Being able to express personal concerns and make informative comments inherently shapes the productive outcome of each day. Indeed, the gift of communication provides an outlet that strengthens my connection with the world at large.

Communication is critical in that it is a dynamic, ongoing process. It is refined throughout my day-to-day interactions with friends. A day at school would be incomplete and lifeless, even empty of character, if I did not find a moment to carry on a conversation with another person. Whether it is through talking about schoolwork and career plans or just through an informal greeting, active communication reminds me that I make a significant impression in others’ lives as much as they do in mine.

Likewise, communication plays an essential role in the health and wellbeing of my family. It nourishes my family by developing concern and understanding for each member. Instead of communicating affection through words of praise and love, my family and I communicate these feelings through gestures and indirect action. Instead of giving my siblings and me a hug and saying, “Honey, I love you,” my parents communicate this through meals and gifts. They devote extreme care in preparing an exquisite family dinner and making sure that we enjoy every aspect of our meal—not only the extravagant food but also the warm conversations throughout dinner. The most important aspect of our thoughtful dinners is that everyone eats together. I enjoy the casual opportunity to communicate with my sisters, parents, and great-aunt through a wealth of topics: traditions to the economy to vacations, schools, and even health. Most of all, the simple opportunity to discuss ideas with my family gives me comfort, a feeling of interconnectedness.

Nonetheless, my belief in the gift of communication is essential for me to foster healthy relationships among my peers and with society. It nurtures the comfort and encouragement that empowers the meaning of my everyday life.

Jennifer Velazquez—

I am the second oldest of five siblings. Being the oldest has not been the easiest or most exciting job, but it has been the most rewarding. As the oldest, I get to be the example and set the bar for my brothers and sisters. Although my siblings are too young to understand or see the things I have achieved, I hope to instill in them the importance of an education.

I am the first generation in my family to go to a university. Personally, making it to UC-Davis was not an easy process. But that alone has made being here even more rewarding and important. Pursuing a higher education has opened so many doors for me that otherwise would not have been available. I have met new and interesting people, established long-lasting friendships, but most importantly, I have grown as an individual. The difference between high school and college is that it is no longer just about books, exams, and going to class. Being in college is about applying what you have learned in school to your community.

I remember that before coming to college, my world was limited to what I read in my school’s textbooks. For me education meant doing well on standardized tests, passing AP exams, or getting A’s on math tests. However, after taking a Chicano Studies class during my freshmen year, I felt like a blindfold was removed from my eyes. This class made me more aware of social problems and more politically active. It redefined how I viewed society and myself. This class also motivated to become an active member in my community.

This is what I believe: Education has the power to change the way you think, which you can use to change the world. It does not matter if that change is small or big, at the local or national level—it is a change nonetheless. It does not matter where you receive your education; is what you do with that education that makes the difference.